Can I get my wife back and if so, how? This is a question that has probably been asked millions of times throughout history. There is no answer that will work for everyone but in most cases the answer is… probably. Of course, whether or not you and your ex can reconcile will depend on many factors such as whether or not she still cares for you and what went wrong in the relationship in the first place.
It’s so easy for us to find the faults of our partners. We all do it, no doubt your ex did it to you too. The hard thing for us to do is to squarely face up to our own faults. That is the part we all seem to struggle with. Unfortunately, if you want your ex back, this is exactly what you will need to do. For now don’t worry about your ex and the things that she needs to change, that is for her to discover on her own. You need to concentrate on the only person you can actually change… you.
Figure out what you need to do to be a better husband to your wife and then make those changes. It will most likely take time but once you’ve made serious strides forward when it comes to becoming a better man, the next step will be to let your wife get to know the ‘new’ you.
You will have to take things slowly with her, if she wants to try at all. If you treated her poorly in the past she will have a hard time letting you in again because she will be risking getting hurt again. You will need to be patient and try to understand her fear.
If you get impatient or try to rush her you will not only show her that you really haven’t changed but you will most likely scare her away forever. It doesn’t matter what the issues were in your relationship, if you realize that you are mostly responsible for the problems in the marriage, it will be up to you to do the majority of the work to make her trust you again. It’s kind of like what would happen if someone cheats in a relationship: the trust is broken and it will need to be rebuilt and that will take time.
In most cases once one partner has made a real effort to improve them self and be a better partner in the relationship, the other partner will step up too and make their own changes. Of course, that doesn’t always happen and if your partner isn’t willing to address their own issues and make changes you might have to deal with the fact that you simply won’t be able to save your relationship.
If you are wiling to put in the love, time and patience with the full understanding that it still may not work out and you still may not be able to answer the question “can I get my wife back?” with a yes, than you will have at least a fighting chance of reconciling with your ex.
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. Comment.
Losing the woman of your dreams can be unbelievably painful. The pain is magnified when you come to the realization that a lot of what went wrong was your fault. Maybe you were a little too quick to get mad, maybe you ignored your wife when she tried to let you know how she felt, or maybe you were just mocking. Whatever the issue was, you will be happy to know that the answer to the question ” get my wife back?” may not be as difficult as you had thought.
Before you make up your ‘plan of attack’ it’s important for you to make sure you’re trying to reconcile with your ex for the right reasons. For example, make sure that it isn’t just your ego that she left you or that you’re jealous because she’s dating a new guy that is driving you to try to get her back. If you have the wrong motives for getting her back, you will both have a lot of frustration and pain… it’s just not worth it.
If you’re sure that the reason you want your wife back is because you still love her and now that you’ve had time to think about what went wrong in your relationship you are convinced you can make significant positive changes than here are the steps you will need to take:
1. Give her space. I know, this runs counter to everything you are feeling. Most people want to rush right over the their ex’s house right away and plead their case. It feels like if you give her too much room she’ll get over you and find someone else. The truth is that is highly unlikely, unless she really is over you in which case there would be nothing more you can do anyway. Most people will take months to get over their ex to the point where they can move on emotionally. That doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t date, but it’s unlikely that they’ll make a real connection soon after the breakup.
If you take your time and give her some space you will be showing her a few important things about the man you are: you’ll show her that you are a mature adult who can control his actions, you’ll also give her some time to miss you and face the possibility that you may really be gone from her life permanently. If she still has feelings for you, this realization might make her more inclined to give things a second try when you do contact her.
2. It’s ok during step # 1 to contact her once or twice, remember you have to give her a lot of space, just to let her know that you miss her and that you still love her. But that is it. In the meantime you should spend time on you. Take time to make positive changes in the person you are. Everyone is different, you have to make changes in the areas you need work in such as, getting fit, working on your anger issues, taking a class, putting in some extra time at work, etc. Whatever areas of your personality that could use some work are the things you should be spending time on during this period.
These are just the starting points that can help you find the right path to answer the question “get my wife back?” Just remember that anything worthwhile takes time and you have to be willing to give it time. Good luck.
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. Comment.
When someone asks for the best way to get wife back, it doesn’t always mean that they are actually divorced. Sometimes it can just mean that there is such a huge divide between them and the woman they love that they are desperate to make things right again and get back to the way things used to be. This is a very common problem in many marriages and the good news is that there are things that you can do that may be able to help right away whether or not you are actually divorced or just heading in that direction.
Of course, the first step has to be to figure out your motives for getting back with your ex. Is it just an ego thing where you can’t stand the idea that she left you and doesn’t love you anymore? Could it be that the two of you are divorced and she has started to show interest in dating? If either one of these are the reasons you want to try and reconcile with your wife than you owe it to you and her to stop right now. Let it go and find a way to move on. If your reasons for getting her back aren’t purely because you love her than you will only hurt both of you if you pursue this anymore.
If you can honestly say that you want to get her back or get back to the way things used to be because you feel like the two of you really could work and that you love her, than the next thing you need to do is figure out the major problems in your relationship. This may actually be harder than you might think because often times we don’t really argue about what’s really bothering us, we tend to argue about stupid, unimportant things.
It might take some digging, and brutal honesty, to discover the real issues in your relationship, but it is the only way that the two of you can deal with them and move forward. This step is vitally important if you don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past and if you want to have a solid, loving future together.
Once you’ve figured out what the core problem(s) are you can make the necessary changes. For example, perhaps one of the big problems was the fact that you tend to fly off the handle and get overly angry at the drop of a hat. If that’s the case than you will need to be willing to do whatever is needed to change that destructive behavior… and that may mean counseling. If you’re not willing to make that commitment than you don’t really have much of a chance of getting, or keeping, your wife.
These guidelines can help you figure out the best way to go to get wife back, the rest is up to you. While it won’t always work, if you follow these tips you’ll have a better shot at getting your ex back and keeping your relationship strong when you do.
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. Comment.
Probably the only thing worse than a painful divorce is the realization that the whole thing was a huge mistake. Once the papers are signed and you and your ex are living separate lives it’s tough to think that you never should have taken things that far, that the two of you could have worked on things and tried harder to make your marriage work. If you are at that point and you have asked “How can I get my wife back?”, I have a few insights and tips that may just be able to help you out.
1. Why do you want your ex back? This may sound like a silly question but it’s very easy to ‘fool’ yourself into believing you still love your ex when maybe all you’re feeling is loneliness, or worse, jealousy because she has really moved on and is dating another man. Make sure you really know what you want and that your motives are pure before you start to pursue your ex again, if you don’t, you can cause both of you a lot of unnecessary pain.
2. Don’t rush right into your plan to win back your ex. Instead take a little time and let things settle, for both of you. This can be a great opportunity to evaluate yourself and your part in the marriage falling apart. Take some time to work on making changes so that you can be a better man. Honestly address the mistakes you made during your marriage and resolve to make serious changes.
3. Tread very lightly if you and your ex have children. Don’t do or say anything to let the kids know that you want to get back together with your ex. Your kids have been through enough with the divorce and you don’t want to make things worse by getting their hopes up and not have things work out. Keep your reconciliation hopes between you and your ex.
4. DO NOT use the kids. Don’t expect them to become your ‘allies’ and help state your case to your ex. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of manipulating the kids to tell mommy how much you’ve changed, or how much you’ve missed being a family. You have got to resist this urge because it will only cause a lot of pain and confusion for your kids. Again, leave the kids totally out of your plans to get back with your ex.
5. Go slow. Your wife may be enjoying her new found freedom. That doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t still love you and she wouldn’t want to get back together, but it may mean that she’s not in a big hurry. She may want the opportunity to be on her own for a while and ‘catch her breath’. The end of a marriage is never the most enjoyable experience and many people want to take some time to unwind and process everything that’s happened before they make any more big decisions. Give her space and time.
Now that the divorce is over and your ex is gone you may be having second thoughts. Before you do anything carefully consider all the points listed above. If after careful thought you are convinced you and your ex belong together you may be able to answer the question “how can I get my wife back?” for yourself.
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. Comment.
Standing by, helplessly, and watching your marriage fall apart can drive you practically crazy. If that is what is happening to you and your marriage and you want to know ‘how to get my wife back” than you’ll be happy to know that there is a chance you can find a way to fix what’s gone wrong in your marriage. It may take time, and it might not be easy, but there are things that you can do.
It doesn’t really matter too much if your marriage is already over, or just on the rocks, some of these tactics can help you save it and make it better for both of you.
1. Who are you? Are you really still the man your wife met and fell in love with? Are you the man you really want to be? Now is a great time for you to take stock of all the things you’ve said and done and what part you’ve played in the marriage falling apart. I know it’s much easier to blame your partner, and I’m sure she’s not perfect, but you can’t change her only she can. The only person you can change is you so that’s where you need to concentrate your attention. Make yourself the best ‘you’ you can be and more often than not the rest will fall into place.
2. Give her breathing room. It’s natural to feel like you have to get her back right away or she might meet someone else and you’ll lose her forever. But the reality is quite different. Most people won’t fall in love with another person soon after their relationship has ended, they can’t, they will still have feelings for their ex even if they don’t want to admit it. Give your ex some time and space and she will come to realize how much she misses you. If you’re too clingy and needy you’ll just push her away.
3. Take time to catch your breath. Going through a breakup is extremely emotionally exhausting. Take some time to get your focus back before you decide to rush back to your ex. You both need this time to gather yourself and figure out what exactly you want. This isn’t the time for running around and hooking up with other women, but rather a time for you to regain yourself and your balance after going through a very tough period of your life.
4. Don’t talk your ex to death and try to convince her of the new you. Instead show her the new you. Be the kind of man that she fell in love with, or even an improved version of that guy. Use your actions to show her you’re better. Being an attentive dad, assuming you have kids, is a great way to show your ex that you’re a man that she could love again. Just make sure that you don’t fall into the trap of becoming manipulative. Showing your ex what a great guy you are will only work if you really are the guy you’re trying to convince her that you are. Don’t play games.
Whether you and your wife have actually divorced or if the two of you have just drifted so far apart you feel like you’ve lost her, there are things you can do to make the marriage strong again. The tips listed above will be a great starting point and will answer your question “how to get my wife back?”
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. Comment.
It really doesn’t matter who ended the relationship, you or your wife, if you now feel it was a huge mistake and you regret letting her go you may be wondering how to get your wife back. While I can’t tell you specifically what will work for you and your situation, I can tell you some of the most common things that don’t work and some that usually do work.
Don’t:
1. Call or harass your ex. This is not the time to act overly aggressive or needy. If you act aggressive you could scare her off and if you act needy you’ll likely disgust her. Either way it’s not a good approach if you want to get back together with her.
2. Don’t start fooling around with a lot of other women. If you think this will make your ex jealous, you’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean that her jealousy will make her want you back. Most likely she’ll decide you’re a dog and that she’s better off without you.
3. Use the kids, assuming you have some, to convince her that she should take you back. The kids need to be left out of the situation altogether. This can be an easy trap to fall into so it’s important that you are constantly on the lookout and you don’t allow this to happen.
DO:
1. Give her plenty of time and space. Don’t worry that she’s going to rush right out and meet someone else, even if she is dating it’s very unlikely that she’ll make any kind of meaningful connection so soon after the two of you have split, it’s just not that easy to get over someone who you love.
2. Spend plenty of time doing things that you like to do, positive things. This is a good time to make some changes to who you are and work on making yourself a better man. Take a class, join a gym, spend time with friends, etc. Just live your life and try to be happy. Doing so will give you two benefits: for one thing it’ll keep you busy and help you through this tough time, and for another it’ll remind your ex of the fun loving, full of life guy she fell in love with in the first place.
3. Spend quality time with your kids. If you didn’t spend a lot of time with them before, now is a great time to start. Have fun with them and enjoy the time you can spend together, it will be good for all of you.
4. Try to make sure that if you and your ex do get back together that you won’t repeat the same mistakes all over again. Try to use the time apart as a chance to analyze how you acted and what part you played in the marriage falling apart… and then try to make changes.
These tips are a great starting point for how to get your wife back. The bottom line is that if you really want another shot with your wife you have to show her that you are a man worth her time. She will likely be scared of getting hurt again, you’ll have to show her that her heart is safe with you.
Filed under get your wife back by on Mar 28th, 2010. 1 Comment.
