How Can I Get My Wife Back, What Are The Best Ways?

Probably the only thing worse than a painful divorce is the realization that the whole thing was a huge mistake.  Once the papers are signed and you and your ex are living separate lives it’s tough to think that you never should have taken things that far, that the two of you could have worked on things and tried harder to make your marriage work.  If you are at that point and you have asked “How can I get my wife back?”, I have a few insights and tips that may just be able to help you out.

1. Why do you want your ex back?  This may sound like a silly question but it’s very easy to ‘fool’ yourself into believing you still love your ex when maybe all you’re feeling is loneliness, or worse, jealousy because she has really moved on and is dating another man.  Make sure you really know what you want and that your motives are pure before you start to pursue your ex again, if you don’t, you can cause both of you a lot of unnecessary pain.

2. Don’t rush right into your plan to win back your ex.  Instead take a little time and let things settle, for both of you.  This can be a great opportunity to evaluate yourself and your part in the marriage falling apart.  Take some time to work on making changes so that you can be a better man.  Honestly address the mistakes you made during your marriage and resolve to make serious changes.

3.  Tread very lightly if you and your ex have children.  Don’t do or say anything to let the kids know that you want to get back together with your ex.  Your kids have been through enough with the divorce and you don’t want to make things worse by getting their hopes up and not have things work out.  Keep your reconciliation hopes between you and your ex.

4. DO NOT use the kids.  Don’t expect them to become your ‘allies’ and help state your case to your ex. It’s very easy to fall into the trap of manipulating the kids to tell mommy how much you’ve changed, or how much you’ve missed being a family.  You have got to resist this urge because it will only cause a lot of pain and confusion for your kids.  Again, leave the kids totally out of your plans to get back with your ex.

5. Go slow.  Your wife may be enjoying her new found freedom.  That doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t still love you and she wouldn’t want to get back together, but it may mean that she’s not in a big hurry.  She may want the opportunity to be on her own for a while and ‘catch her breath’.  The end of a marriage is never the most enjoyable experience and many people want to take some time to unwind and process everything that’s happened before they make any more big decisions. Give her space and time.

Now that the divorce is over and your ex is gone you may be having second thoughts. Before you do anything carefully consider all the points listed above.  If after careful thought you are convinced you and your ex belong together you may be able to answer the question “how can I get my wife back?” for yourself.