One thing that seems easy to do nowadays are people give up on their marriage when there are problems.But with all the consequences of failed marriage you must do all the things you can do to save and restore it. In this article we are going to look at why you must do all you can to save your marriage.
First of all when problems happen in marriage it is a very difficult situation. What was once a perfect relationship can suddenly turn sour and absolutely make it seem hard to live.But that is definitely when a couple should fight the hardest and recall the love they once had. In my marriage counselor San Diego practice I try to have the couple remember those good times. I try to make them remember all the promises they made.Hopefully this will make them to try to work things out.
Another reason you shouldn’t let problems end your marriage is usually there are kids involved. If you have had children together the effects it has on children is devastating. As a family counselor San Diego practice I see these effects all the time.The children most of the times take it with all difficulty. Studies have absolutely indicated that it is healthier for children to grow up with two parents. So when problems arise you have to work it out for the children as well.
Finally the issues that basically cause breakups are usually not enough to deserve a break up.Of course there are some situations when things happen like adultery that could deserve a break up. But if it isn’t something as serious as that you have to work it out. Doing couples counseling San Diego oftentimes it is a breakdown in communication. Usually if you are able to help them communicate it can fix many problems.
So next time you are having troubles with your marriage do not just think of the problems.Think of the possible consequences and work things out for the better.
Filed under Relationships by on Jan 6th, 2010. Comment. 
One of the saddest things in life is when marriages go bad.Couples who thought they were going to have eternal happiness were suddenly faced with pain. Exposure to the kids will also hurt the children. But one major benefit of it is all marriage problems can be solved. Of course the parties have to be willing. If they are willing, the marriage can be saved. What this article will dive into are main points that help.
First of all this comes from experience as a marriage counselor San Diego. These showed solutions on how couples with marriage problems to fix it. The primary reason for counseling is the provision of a level playing field for the couple. In other words during sessions they can feel safe without having to be so defensive. It can be secured out of them by a good counselor.
Next what a good marriage counseling San Diego service should do is help them communicate. Communication is vital, and not enough of it is the reason of the problem. When couples do not open their lines of communication, the problems broaden. But a counselor who knows what they are doing will be able to show them some effective communication techniques.
Next thing a good counselor can do is teach both parties how to listen. Yes this is part of communication but often times it is a skill that needs to be taught. I do it all the time doing couples counseling San Diego service. Mutual understanding begins once you are able to teach them how to listen to one another.
These are some key elements that a good counselor can help a couple who are afflicted. If a couple aims to provide a solution for it, a marriage can always be saved. It is never to late to help them fix their issues. And it is shown to assist many people.
Filed under Relationships by on Dec 23rd, 2009. Comment.
Undergoing marriage struggles is one of the hardest problems that people can have.It does not matter if you are a new couple or have been for a long time.It would still be hard to go through it. It really affects not just the couple but other aspects of our lives. If their is family involved it affects them. It can affect work as well. So how do you convince a spouse or significant other you need marriage therapy?This article can help you answer those questions.
Now you may be wondering why you would need to convince the spouse? Because it is proven time and time again in my San Diego marriage counseling practice that a lot of times only one person wants help. That is when it is tough to get them to believe they need help.If that is the case then you must have the know how on how to convince them that your relationship is in dire need of help.Of course it would still be up to them to decide if they still want to save their realtionship.If they both decide to go on with their lives separated from each other then nothing can really help.
So when one person comes to me needing help as a San Diego marriage therapist I try to come up with ways to show the other person they need help.And one way I try to convince that other person is by showing how serious their problems are.I try to show them that their problems as a couple also affect their whole family.I also try show them that their problems also affect other areas of their lives.Usually, that woudl be enough to convince them to undergo counseling. That is if they do want to save the relationship.
Now doing couples counseling San Diego there are times when the other person doesn’t want to fix the relationship.If that is the case then the other half who wants help must have other plans to convince his/her other half.But what can one still do if the other one has already decided that he/she wants out.You can tell them what mistakes they did but if they are not listening then nothing would happen.
Filed under Relationships by on Nov 28th, 2009. Comment.
Often you will find the marriages may become rocky.Than there are other times when a couple may have disagreements.And then you can have those times that a marriage could become in danger. It is at that time the only way to save it can be through counseling.
With marriage being so important to society, as well as your personal life, you have to take steps to ensure that the marriage doesn’t go into the danger zone. So I would like to offer some tips that I have gained through experience as a marriage counselor San Diego.
So what are the signs of danger of a troubled marriage? Well they can be many things. It could be money problems, children or teens, even sexual or intimacy issues, or it can be job related.As you are able to see, strains on the relationship can happen in so many areas.But getting at those issues early is what can save the marriage. Allowing it to continue could lead to horrible consequences.
So it is at those times, you should seek some marriage counseling San Diego.A counseling session can provide a safe environment to talk and address the issues.It is at these times when breakthroughs may happen and you can start resolving issues.
Also it is a safe ground for both couples where they can begin a good dialogue. Often times dealing with those issues at home can actually escalate problems to the point of no return.
With such good help out there, there is no need to let common issues every couple faces to become bigger than it needs to be. Being a family therapist San Diego has allowed me to see it first hand.
I have been able to see how addressing issues before they begin a problem can make solving it much easier.I have also how not addressing it sooner and waiting longer than you should can cause the problem to become an issue to the point of a divorce.
As stated above, the importance of marriage in our society, that is an outcome that is needless.
So for those that have the desire to try to save the marriage, finding professional help like marriage counseling could be what saves the relationship.
If you find yourself in this position, give it a try.You have nothing you can lose.
Filed under Relationships by on Aug 9th, 2009. Comment.
In a perfect world, after a couple says “I do” they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. And most times, following the wedding day, that is when trouble begins.
Whatever the cause, the couple’s happy and blissful relationship all of a sudden turns cold and bitter.
In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor San Diego to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.
Arguments, disagreements, and fights do happen. It is bound to happen in most marriages.But there is a time when the couple needs to look at whether or not this is normal or part of everyday life. Or if is too much and time to seek help.
Because a problem in a marriage, left unchecked, could one day lead to a horrible divorce.
So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling San Diego is needed.
The first sign is bickering, do you guys bicker a lot? Do little things cause you guys to argue? Although small and subtle this could be the beginning of something bigger.
Second, does it seem hard to say anything nice about each other? This shows you that you two are holding contempt for each other and that is not beneficial.
A third thing is do you find that your level of respect for each other is not there?In every relationship, the couple must respect each other.
Fourth sign, is there a loss of intimacy with each other? This is not just for sex, although this is part of it.Does is seem like the two of you aren’t as close as you once were?
Fifth, when your spouse is not around are you happier? This is not a good sign and is the beginning of the separation.
Sixth thing to examine is there a loss of trust between the two of you? On of the things for the married couple that is most important is trust.When your most intimate moments are going to be lived and shared with, there has to be trust.
Finally, has there been unfaithfulness between one of you?To most it seems simple enough and obvious.Unfortunately, some of the times when this happens, some couples ignore it rather than try to face it.
Of course there are plenty of other signs. But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor in San Diego.
If you find yourself experiencing these situations, and saving your marriage is what you want.You have get some professional advice that will help you find ways to help solve these problems.
Often times, a third viewpoint can help immensely and that is where a family counselor can help.
Filed under Relationships by on Aug 9th, 2009. Comment.
Marriage has the description of being the sacred union.As it should be. After all, when a happy couple say “I do” they are agreeing to be with each other till death do them part.Even when times get bad, during sickness and poorer.
Obviously you noticed that the health and richer part I didn’t include.Because usually, those are the times that are easy.
But regardless of the situation, if you find your marriage in trouble, keeping a marriage happy and healthy can become a struggle. It is during this time a family therapist San Diego might be the best option.
Because once problems start to become chronic, this could lead to a road that ends in divorce.Problems like having fights, no trust, loss of intimacy, hating each other, etc.
When these things do start happening, the most important thing the couple should do is seek a marriage counselor. why? Because although a couple may not feel like it is, most marriage therapists have seen it all.And from that experience is what they use to help those marriages in trouble.
So why does marriage therapy or couples therapy work? Well I would like to share some insights from my experience as a San Diego marriage therapist.
Several factors starting with safety.A good therapist is able to offer to the couple an environment they can feel safe in.An environment that is different from where all the fights happen.
This stops the angry or hysterical outburst that happens when they are in a familiar environment.
Second, as mentioned before, they have experience.This gives the therapist the chance to show the couple whether or not their experience is normal.
Third, they can help with communications. Often times that is one of the contributing factors in troubled marriages.When troubles start to happen, the husband and wife will become defensive and communications at that point becomes difficult.The therapist will be helpful in opening those lines.
Fourth, they can help the couple with problem solving skills. Obviously, there are problems.And the more prepared the husband and wife is, the easier it will be to solve their differences.
Finally, they are able to help the married couple to better understand the situation.They accomplish this by helping them listen better, share their feelings better, and then help them interpret it all.
As you can see, when the marriage is in trouble, the best way to save it is through therapy.If you are in a situation like this, go seek professional help. Take it from my experience doing marriage counseling San Diego.
Filed under Relationships by on Aug 9th, 2009. Comment.
Communication gap is listed as one of the main causes for an unhappy marriage and even divorce. That’s really not unexpected. When you were a baby and weren’t able to communicate, what did you do? You cried and threw a tantrum until somebody figured out what your needs were. Now that you’re grown up that won’t work although it’s tried in some form by many spouses.
Good communication takes practice. Remember, you’re communicating even though you may not be talking.Your body language and actions can speak volumes about what you like and what you didn’t like. Facial expressions say a lot too. Do you still smile at your spouse?
Some spouses are afraid to smile or be too nice for fear of being asked to do something they don’t want to do.
If that’s your attitude, maybe it’s time to talk. If you’re not happy with your relationship be honest about it and seek a solution. Solutions usually begin at the bargaining table where both parties are willing to negotiate and come up with a solution both can live with.
Find a nice and comfortable time to communicate. If either of you has a pressing project that needs to be completed or an upcoming schedule, then agree to a more appropriate time. At least you’ve made the effort and the cards are on the table. Don’t trap your spouse in a situation where they must listen such as driving to visit the relatives. You may not be in a good mood when you arrive if this happens.
Be tactful in suggesting a talk is necessary. Don’t be demanding but suggest you’d like to visit a while about such and such as soon as they have time. This gives both of you time to summarize your thoughts. It’s not good to come to the table unready. Know what you’re unhappy with and how you’d suggest the problem be solved.
Once you’re talking, be a good listener. Listening is as important as talking. If your partner is not as good at communicating as you then compensate. Repeat what they’ve said by commenting something like “Here’s what I think you’re trying to say.” Don’t talk down to your spouse and make them feel inadequate.Both opinions are equally valuable.
Do not get disturbed while talking like the radio or TV and certainly not when the kids are present. Bringing up a problem during dinner is not appropriate. That would qualify as trapping your partner and problem ruin both your appetites. Your attention must be united and you must make eye contact. Allow enough time for a complete discussion.
Look for a solution but if one is not reached, reschedule a time to continue.Do not give up. Remember there’s another world besides yours and you must live in both.
Compromise is always a good choice. If you’re wrong, take responsibility and change. If no result is apparent, professional help may be needed.Communication will not figure out all your difficulties but it’s a good startup.
Filed under Relationships by on May 19th, 2009. Comment.
